Meet Pita-Ji / "PJ"
- The Ladle of Love
- Jul 21, 2020
- 2 min read
Regardless of age, everyone addressed my grandfather as “Pita Ji” which is Hindi for “respected father.” The equivalent title was given to his wife, my grandmother, "Mata Ji" These are formal but relatively commonplace terms of respect. I , on the other hand, used to call him “PJ” (although never to his face!) He is the grandparent I knew the least well in person because, sadly, he passed away much earlier than my other grandparents and so we had less time with each other. However, we did have times together and a combination of those interactions and family folklore mean I am aware that he was considered to be quite a strict man but, to those in the know, he had a softness and sparkle in his eyes which gave away a warm sense of humour… a favourite trait that he has passed on to the whole family.
He spent many years working as a ticket inspector on the Indian railways and this has resulted in my Papa, and perhaps his siblings too, still having a warm affection for trains and large railway stations. However, I know that PJ also had a fondness for high quality dried fruit as a result of work he had done previously for many years which was importing dried fruits and nuts between Afghanistan and India. My mama still cannot eat a medjool date without referencing him and telling me how they would enjoy these sticky fruits together. I know PJ certainly had a taste for the sweeter things but, as he aged, there was an ever-increasing list of foods which he was constantly being told were off limits by well meaning relatives and doctors (including, the double combo, relatives who were doctors.)
As with many things that are out of bounds, this often sharpens the desire for them and, as a result, I certainly watched him gently and skilfully negotiate for prohibited foods and drinks with a quiet determination that inevitably lead to success. I seem to recall he had a particular fondness for glasses of buttermilk or sweet "lassi" (not to be confused with Lassie, the problem-solving, TV collie dog… lassi is a traditional, yoghurt drink from the Indian subcontinent.) The photo I have chosen here is actually of a glass of homemade, alphonso mango lassi which I know he would have loved. He was supposed to abstain from any type of this drink because of the sugar and high fat content as he, of course, preferred it when it was made with full fat yoghurt. I have a very clear memory of him happily drinking a glass of contraband lassi, no doubt after deploying various diplomacy tactics, at my aunty and uncle’s house in the U.S. His eyes were most definitely twinkling as he sipped his forbidden drink and giggled whilst listening to my aunty earnestly explaining why it was supposed to be off limits for him. The whole episode taught me that it is somewhat easier to listen to a well-meant lecture with an accepting smile on your face and whilst supping on a delicious drink.
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